confessions

• I’m not entirely sure how I made it through this semester, but for the grace of God.
• I always want to eat healthier, work out more, and lose weight, but I have the hardest time sticking with it.
• Most days I find myself eager to “begin” my life. What I fail to realize is that this is my life. Right now.
• I love to eat cheesy popcorn, cheese curls, and Cheetos with a fork or spoon…less mess.
• I hope to FINALLY get a chance to read Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist over break. I love the way she writes to make you feel as though you’re right there with her.
• I deeply hope to be studying abroad in Ireland this upcoming May. Going to Ireland is one of my bucket list items and I’ve never studied abroad before, so there’s no time like the present!
• My boyfriend seems to think that if I go to Ireland, I’ll fall in love with some Irish man and leave him, the way it seems to happen in movies.
• What he doesn’t realize is that, though Irish accents are incredibly alluring, nothing and no one can make me forget the incredible love I have found with him. Bonus: Among his many talents, he does accents.
• I sometimes drink hot cocoa for the marshmallows.
• Sometimes when I get out of bed in the morning, I really wish I was retired so that I could stay in bed awhile longer, lingering in the warmth and relaxation.
• I look forward to someday changing my last name.
• I’m passionate about serving others.
• I look forward to a career in social work, but I’m scared to actually be out in the field. I’m scared I won’t be able to make the cut.
• Although it’s hard sometimes because I rarely see them, I am so excited for all of my friends, to see where they go, what they do, who they marry…and where God leads them! I’m so thankful for their presence in my life.
• I want to feel at home in my skin.
• I believe women need to take a break from the competition and get to know each other. Band together and be a support network for one another, because no one but a woman can truly understand how women feel and what they go through.
• I cry at weddings.
• I love the idea of being adventurous and touring the world, but I would miss my loved ones too much.
• I would love to feel comfortable with my voice and sing in front of people.

That’s it for now. =)
With love,
amanda

a beginning

There is something absolutely wonderful and yet frustrating about writing. Writing allows you to express your opinions, beliefs, and innermost thoughts and feelings. I find it refreshing to be able to write down what is going on in my life; sometimes simply to get the thoughts out of my head and the feelings out of my heart so they will be remembered with detail for the future. It's important to me that, someday, I will be able to remember how I got to where I'll be. So many great things have already happened in my life and I want to remember them, cherish them, and hopefully pass them on to my children someday.

Other times, writing is a process that allows me to wrestle with what I'm turning over and around in my head, put it down in words, and hopefully come to some resolution with the situations I face. A friend once advised me to write down all of the thoughts I was bouncing around in my head about a situation that was driving me crazy. That advice has turned out to be very helpful. Writing my thoughts down helps me to cut out all the excess and repetitive thoughts and get down to the nitty gritty of what I'm actually thinking and feeling.

This past year, I met with one of my good friends from high school to catch up on life. I just love those dates with great friends! My friend was telling me about beginning a journal to her future husband and I thought it was a great idea. I had always wanted to write a journal to the man I marry and decided to finally put it into action. Someday, I think he'll enjoy reading about my thoughts, feelings, and memories. =) It's been fun writing them down so far. I have really enjoyed documenting my life and experiences for the past year.

Which leads me to this.

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I've been getting into painting canvas the past few months. I find it to be very therapeutic for me. I wanted to surprise Jake with a painting of his favorite Bible verse. He gave me the one above. Since then, the verse has really stuck with me. Think about it and really process it.

Rejoice ALWAYS.
Pray CONTINUALLY.
Give thanks in ALL circumstances.

I don't know about you, but I don't always rejoice. I don't pray continually. And it's very difficult for me to give thanks in absolutely all circumstances. I'd like to work on those things.

I've been wanting to commit to writing a blog for awhile now. I have a blog on Wordpress but never really let anyone know about it, so there was no need to write consistently. I had the freedom of expressing myself honestly, without the fear of judgment or putting myself out there. It's scary to really put yourself out there, whether you're in front of people or putting your thoughts on a blog for everyone to see.

I know to grow requires stretching. I wanted to write this blog to explore my life, feelings, thoughts, and attempts at growing closer to God, as well as my efforts in learning how to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances. Some of my favorite things to do in life are to smile, laugh, and spread joy. The title of my blog was inspired by the Bible verse in combination with my desire to be joyful on a daily basis.

So here goes. I can't promise I'll be good at this, but I'm going to try. I'm sure I will learn something along the way...and if nothing else, it's worth it to express and stretch myself, and explore. I hope you enjoy my ponderings along the way!