Day 1 of Semester 4: Let's do this!

Welcome to the first week of classes ladies and gentlemen! How is it time for this already?! This summer flew by with all of the busyness of a regular school semester. This morning I find myself with a bit of extra time (darn it I could have slept in a bit longer!) to reflect on the lessons learned, the successes, and times enjoyed over the past few months.

This past summer I learned a lot about who I am right now and who I would like to become. I learned that it was okay to say no sometimes (and avoid over committing myself resulting in a burnout). However, I also learned that I need to be better about being completely open with my friends about my lack of availability due to all that is currently going on in my life. It's really hard for me to disappoint people so I tend to say "yes, I can do that...I will figure it out somehow" when it ends up working out that a supervisor switches my schedule or expects me to attend something all of a sudden, or I have homework that should be taking priority. That can be hurtful and disappointing, though it is not my intent. I promise to work towards being more open about my schedule demands.

I'm also learning to be more direct and open about sharing my opinions in a professional environment. I tend to go with the flow and my supervisor is encouraging me to speak up more. That's going to be a challenge, but one I look forward to meeting. I already have 3 clients on my caseload and I'm feeling really good about it. Case Management and Supervision is so helpful and I really look forward to utilizing it this year. As many professors say, supervision, supervision, supervision! It's key when learning how to become a better counselor and professional.

I'm learning to adjust to the idea that Jake won't be here this year. Today has been a bit challenging, as I realize there will be no weekly date or homework sessions together this year. However, I know that I have a lot to accomplish in the next 9 months, with my Master's of Social Work graduation and wedding (move and job searching also) coming up. The time by myself to focus on me, my education, preparing to be a Godly wife, and my relationship with God really is a blessing. I need to remember that when it's hard to be apart from my best friend.

God's been doing some amazing things and He will continue to do so. I have such a good feeling about this next year of my life (and for the rest of the time I'm here too lol). I will be graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Psychology, a Master's of Social Work degree, and married to my best friend all by June 10, 2012 at the age of 24. It's beautiful to me to see how God has orchestrated every piece, preparing my heart and Jacob's for the time ahead of us.

Let's be honest. I probably won't be blogging as often these next few months. Fall semester holds 3 classes (in addition to my seminar and field placement, which counts as a class), internship, Graduate Assistant position, planning a wedding, and hopefully making strides toward becoming a healthier overall person. It's going to be pretty busy. If I do get a chance, I want to write whenever possible. It's freeing and puts things in perspective for me. To all of my friends returning to school and beginning classes soon, blessings on your school year and remember to soak up every moment. To my friends not returning to school, whether it's the first time or not, blessings on your year at work or whatever else you may be doing, be it moving, planning a wedding, preparing for a baby, or finding out what God's next step is for you. I love and cherish you all!

With love,
Amanda

Choosing Joy

So lately, I've been making more of an effort to look on the bright side of difficult situations. I'm perfectly fine being encouraging to others as they face tough things, but when it comes to something going on in my life, I stink at finding the joy in what's challenging me. 

So much has happened this summer. There have been a lot of ups, downs, and in-betweens to my emotions, thoughts, and experiences. I've been at my best and I've nearly fallen apart. My so-called social life has suffered from my various commitments between classes, internship, and work. I swear, if Michaeleen couldn't vouch for me being alive, most people would probably think I fell off the planet. 

Most of my nights this summer have been spent wishing I was outdoors, at the beach, or with family and friends. Every now and then, I'll get in some time with family and friends, but I've spent a lot of time in my living room, working on projects, papers, and assignments. This isn't the way I wanted this summer to go, but with the completion of this past semester, I am more than halfway through the MSW program at GVSU. Wow. It's a great feeling, yet I know that I haven't been at my best this whole time (and who is at their best 100% of the time anyway?). 

I read my devotionals every morning and one that really touched me was a recent post by Mary Southerland. Excerpts from a Girlfriends in God devotional entitled "Thriving or Surviving?" from the August 11, 2011 are shared below.

God promises that if you know Him you will know true joy. Joy is not merely happiness but rather an unshakable confidence that God is in control. Therefore, He is our one and only source of joy and stands ready, waiting to saturate every circumstance with His presence. As His children, joy is ours to claim. If so, then where is it and why do we not experience a sense of confident celebration as we go through each day?

Choosing joy requires us to identify and eliminate the “joy stealers” in life. You may be allowing a person to take your joy. Maybe some painful experience from a shadowed yesterday is an obstacle of joy in your life today. Perhaps a fearful circumstance or a broken dream is the culprit.

I know life can be painful. I know life is often hard and unfair. I also know that God is in control. Therefore, if God really is God (and He definitely is) then we can and should be people of joy. I have read the final chapter of the Book and we win! Nothing and no one can take your joy without your permission. So, don’t give it! Choose joy! 

I've been facing so many challenges this summer. Adjusting to Jake's move back to the East side has been one of the toughest for me. I know what you're thinking, "Hello Amanda...you're going to MARRY the guy. You'd think a year of long-distance wouldn't be a problem for you." Jake is my best friend. The man I want to spend the rest of my life with. The man I share my ups, downs, and in-betweens with. He's seen me at my best and my worst and he loves me anyway (no make-up, sweatpants, and tears...can I get an amen?). Without him around, I have been in the red on the amount of hugs I require on a daily basis. Needless to say, it's been a long summer without him (but when the visits happen, they have been a big blessing!).


Adjusting to being at my internship, having classes, and going to work has been tough too. I am going from 7 or 8 a.m. to at least 5 or 7 p.m. every night. I know...it's not that bad, but honestly, I have been so drained by the end of the day. Part of what I'm learning in my internship is to establish boundaries and learn how to take better care of myself. To be honest, it's been touch and go with the quality of care I extend to myself, so it's been a difficult road to figuring out how to say no, cut back on saying yes, and establishing when I am available and when I need to take time to myself. This, combined with the crazy schedules, has resulted in little time with family and friends. And for this, I truly am sorry. The people in my life mean everything to me and I am sorry for not always being there and being available like I have been before.


In all of this, I have learned to appreciate the little moments. The unexpected run-ins with friends, the times with family and loved ones, and the small, quiet times of reflection on the drive to work, in watching the sunset, and taking the kayak out on the lake. God has really been teaching me to enjoy these moments, as they come at the perfect time, in the midst of the storms in this life. I find joy in the quiet moments, the laughter amongst friends, and the solace of a hug. I find joy in the struggles and suffering because I know I have a God who goes before me and has already won the battle. I have family, friends, and a man by my side who are cheering me on, loving and supporting me all the way. I am so blessed. I am blessed to be in this struggle and to be given all that I have, challenges and all. I encourage you to seek out the joy in your situation, no matter how difficult it is. God is there, waiting to show you something like this...
 

to remind you of all the good He has for you to keep you going through the messes and challenges. There are people He's placed in your life to remind you of His love and grace, as well as support and love on you when times are hard. I am so thankful for those people in my life, and for those moments. I choose joy more often than not now, and I'm pretty happy about it. 

"God will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy" - Job 8:21

With love,

Amanda

Some things I enjoy...

Sorry for my lack of posts lately...life has been busy and I feel like I'm always on the go. Here's a little something though...

Some things I enjoy...

1. Skype dates with my future hubby
2. My family
   
3. My future family
   
4. Making earnest effort to drink water all day instead of resorting to pop (I feel so much better!)
5. Fresh air
6. Friendship with my Roomie
7. Camaraderie with coworkers
8. Making someone else smile or laugh
9. Living on a lake...access to a beach, water, and kayaking or swimming whenever I want is so great!
10. Sleepovers with Michaeleen and Katie
11. Impromptu dance parties
12. Friends who I can dress up or down around
13. Summer sun on my skin
14. Freckles
    
15. The sight of my man in a baseball hat and cutoff shirt
16. My engagement ring
17. Four day weekends
    
18. Trips to Sterling Heights
    
19. Spending time with my soon-to-be nieces
    
20. The video of our engagement that Jake made

With love,
Amanda